Friday, December 29, 2006

Wedding Crashers Part Deux

As someone who has never been a bride I can't pretend to understand the stresses brought on by wedding planning. Still, I do have an inkling how difficult the whole lead up to the aisle can be for the majority of the betrothed. They worry about just about every detail, big and small, from the location of the reception to choice of appetizers to the color of the monogram on the hand towels in the restrooms. The fact that no one cares about any of these things as long as the booze flows freely is entirely beside the point.

The one detail that is paramount, however, is the guest list. Good guests make for a good party, so for all brides-to-be out there, please keep in mind that virtually above all else, this is the one thing that must be given a great deal of thought. To that end, I'd like to offer up this little piece of advice: Just in case you were debating your list of prospective invitees and thought to yourself, "Should I invite the water buffalo next door, or should I just hope he doesn't hear about our wedding through the grapevine?" girls always, always err on the side of inclusiveness.

One young Cambodian bride learned this lesson the hard way when, in one of the most compelling reenactments of Deniro's oscar winning turn as Raging Bull, a water buffalo who was clearly feeling slighted made a mad dash for her buffet table. The hungry, hungry buffalo also took down six of the invited guests, leaving a trail of cocktail weiners and buffalo chips in his wake. When asked to comment, the water buffalo merely huffed, farted then trotted back to his pond where he was promptly shot by hungrier guests.

So brides-to-be, please take note, though I understand worrying about place cards may seem like a life or death matter to you now, I'd spend just a little more time appeasing the neighbors. Because the thing is, it's your party, and no one--behorned or not--should be fiercer than you on your wedding day!


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