Prisoner 082975 Wants to Be Your Friend!

Boy, sexual predators on the internet just can't catch a break! Today comes news that there are bigger, badder motherfuckers lurking in cyberspace who are putting simple pedophiles to shame. Turns out death row inmates are the latest commuters on the information superhighway, and guess what parents? They want your children to be their friendsters! According to the Telegraph, "At least 30 prisoners awaiting execution in Texas have pages on MySpace."

You know MySpace, it's that wonderful social networking site we oldies keep hearing so much about! Well apparently the young ones--and Rupert Murdoch--love it. It's the way they communicate, share ideas, become BFFs with homicidal maniacs.

Unsurprisingly this new prisoner friend trend is far too delicious for the kids to ignore. They're adding convicts to their rolls like the guilty pleasures they are. Really, what self-respecting surly teen wouldn't want a felon for a friend? Talk about a great way to piss off your parents. (Before you could only resort to piercing your hoo-ha and hoping they heard about it from a local member of the clergy.) So you officially heard it here first: death row inmates are the new black, they are the new must have accessory for fall.

Now go ahead, invite Preston to be your friend. Aside from the triple homicide conviction, he's quite a peach!