China to Adopters: "No Fatties"
So the Chinese government's Center for Adoption Affairs has just announced plans to tighten requirements for those would be Chinese baby cherry pickers. According to an article in the Star-Telegram, people who may no longer be eligible for Chinese adoptions include:
• Unmarried people (ed: Sorry lonely ladies, we don't want you either!)
• Overweight people with a body mass index greater than 40 (ed: No one likes a fatty!)
• Those older than 50 (ed: Look oldies, mutual diaper changes aren't "adorable.")
• People who take medicine for depression or anxiety or have a "severe facial deformity" (ed: If you weren't anxious enough about the way you looked before, now you have real reason to be!)
• Other potential restrictions could require an adoptive family to earn more than $80,000 a year. (ed: Really, poor people, we know you're plenty good at having babies on your own.)
The Chinese government would like you to know, however, that it still welcomes adopters who are attractive and famous. (ed: Hey, Angie and Brad, we're looking at you. Come on, show us some love!)