Jenna and Barbara's Decision Making Process
Barbara: Hey, Jenna.
Jenna: Hi... twin.
Barbara: It's Barbara. My name is Barbara.
Jenna: Really? Hey, isn't that also the name of our...
Barbara: Our grandmother. Yes, it's also the name of our grandmother.
Jenna: She's the one with the white hair and mannish physique, right?
Barbara: Well that certainly ain't Grandpa.
Jenna: Okay, cool, that's what I thought. So, what's up? And don't say "my dinner from last night" because, dude, that was a boot and rally of epic proportion! Can I get an amen?!... Wait, they do have God down here, right?
Barbara: Jenna, listen. I'm, like, really starting to think we should leave Argentina and go back home.
Jenna: Whaaaaat? Whyyyy???
Barbara: Well okay, first off, someone stole my purse and my cell phone.
Jenna: Uhm, Barbara, I think what you meant to say was, "I left my purse and cell phone in a cab when I was so wasted I couldn't see straight or stand upright."
Barbara: No, Jenna, that was you.
Jenna: Whateverrr! Besides, the secret service is here to protect us.
Barbara: Yeah, but my bag got stolen when they were with us.
Jenna: Hahahahaha! Seriously? That is soooo fucked up! But then again, so was Brian.
Barbara: Brian? Who's Brian?
Jenna: He's the agent Daddy tapped from his frat to watch over us. Our families have known one another since, like, the Mayflower. He is sooo cool.
Barbara: Really? What was he doing before he was appointed for this job?
Jenna: After he flunked out of UT, he ran the stables on our ranch.
Barbara: So does that make him qualified?
Jenna: What's with the third degree, Senorita Buzz Kill? We're here to celebrate our 25th birthday, baby. Whooo!
Barbara: Well yeah, I know, but doesn't it bother you that we've been asked to leave the country by the U.S. Embassy?
Jenna: Dude, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one -- do you not read Fox News? They work for us!
Barbara: Well I know that. But I would, like, feel kind of bad if we caused an international incident or something. I mean Daddy's been having a tough time as it is recently.
Jenna: Uh, no he hasn't. And seriously, Barbara, you'd know that if you'd paid more attention to Fox News. Anyway, come on, we have tangerine lessons in an hour, and I need to find my dancing shoes.
Barbara: I don't know, I really think we should go home.
Jenna: Well then maybe you should go. But I'm going to stay. I mean now that I'm 25 I realize that someone needs to be a role model to the girls down here, and I'm sorry, but Madonna is just too old to do that now.
Barbara: That is really mature of you.
Jenna: I know. I just want to make Daddy as proud of me as the world is of him!