Wednesday, December 20, 2006

China to Adopters: "No Fatties"

So the Chinese government's Center for Adoption Affairs has just announced plans to tighten requirements for those would be Chinese baby cherry pickers. According to an article in the Star-Telegram, people who may no longer be eligible for Chinese adoptions include:

• Unmarried people (ed: Sorry lonely ladies, we don't want you either!)
• Overweight people with a body mass index greater than 40 (ed: No one likes a fatty!)
• Those older than 50 (ed: Look oldies, mutual diaper changes aren't "adorable.")
• People who take medicine for depression or anxiety or have a "severe facial deformity" (ed: If you weren't anxious enough about the way you looked before, now you have real reason to be!)
• Other potential restrictions could require an adoptive family to earn more than $80,000 a year. (ed: Really, poor people, we know you're plenty good at having babies on your own.)

The Chinese government would like you to know, however, that it still welcomes adopters who are attractive and famous. (ed: Hey, Angie and Brad, we're looking at you. Come on, show us some love!)


Anonymous Anonymous said... a fat single guy who makes a shitload of money...that pisses me off. No chinese kids for me next year.

December 21, 2006 3:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, time to get rid of my baby fat.

December 21, 2006 5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmph! I always figured I'd adopt when I was around 50 -- my logic being that upon adulthood and independence my kid would inherit whatever I had while s/he was still relatively young and use it to start a life. I kind of thought that was really considerate of me. I also thought that would be better than, say, rotting in an orphanage... So much for my logic!

December 21, 2006 11:34 PM  

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