Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Rudy's Presidential Slam Book

Former New York City mayor and original Mean Girl, Rudy Guiliani, has a lot of 'splaining to do. According to the Daily News, a binder filled with damaging notes and game plan details for his future losing presidential run was "found" in one of the cities Rudy visited while campaigning for other Republicans in the November election.

Like any teenage girl debating her chances to be elected prom queen, one page of the diary lists potential "cons" in bullet points, which include: his private sector business; disgraced former aide Bernard Kerik; his third wife, Judith Nathan Giuliani; "social issues," on which is he is more liberal than most Republicans, and his former wife Donna Hanover. (Oddly, there is no mention of the fact that his first wife was his second cousin.)

But though the Daily News claims to have gotten the exclusive on this story, we here at the Shaking Blog managed to get our hands on some of the other handwritten notes as yet unpublished in the binder. We realize our decision to reprint them here might seem gossipy and gratuitous, but really, why should we hold ourselves to a higher standard than CNN?

10/15/06 Prayer breakfast with Evangelicals to establish right wing cred. Fingers crossed I get to sit next to Ted Haggard, what a role model! Note to self: say nothing about two previous marriages and/or gay roommates.

10/18/06 Dinner with kids. Remind them that when I deny their existence on the campaign trail it's not because I don't love them, it's just because my image and politics are more important.

10/20/06 Meet with Hillary. Bitch!
10/21/06 Meet with Kofi Annan. Total snooze!
10/22/06 Meet with John McCain. The breath on that guy could knock down a building! (*see if we can work that into a commercial)

10/31/06 Judy and I attend Halloween party at the RNC. Killed with our costumes. Ken Mehlman told me no one else could have carried off the "Mickey and Mini Mussolini" look better.

11/7/06 Election day! Feeling great, kicked a street vendor AND a cab driver on my way into the office this morning. I think my campaigning is really going to pay off for the Republicans. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue here I come!


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