!Ask Robin & Renée!

We at Chat with R&R realize we've been remiss in checking the overflowing mailbags we've accumulated here in the past few months, and we apologize to all our faithful letter writers who've been awaiting response (particularly to you, Holding My Breath Until You Respond). So without further adieu to you and you and you, it's once again time for our randomly regular feature: !Ask Robin and Renée!

Dear R&R,

I'm big on making new year's resolutions and in addition to the one I made about reading your blog everyday and encouraging every new person I meet to purchase your book, I've also decided to join the humanitarian effort in Darfur. I plan to tend to young victims of the ongoing war that America has turned a blind eye to. Any advice before I go?

Yours,
In To Africa

Dear In To,

First, R&R would just like to applaud your efforts to help people, because clearly once you tell them about SHAKING HER ASSETS, the quality of their lives will improve dramatically. Secondly we're very impressed by the nature of your resolutions and admit that ours, "learn belly dancing," while no less important on a global scale, might be a bit easier to bring to fruition. Even if one of us is spectacularly uncoordinated in her belly. But the one piece of advice we do have for you on a practical level is this: make sure you go into the war zone with the proper body armor and not the shit they've been giving to our brave troops in Iraq because that stuff will get you killed.

Happy New Year,
R&R

Dear R&R,

I read A Million Little Pieces and the book changed my life. Now that I know the whole thing was a fraud, does this mean my new life is a fake, too?

Love,
A Million Little Pieces of Shit

Dear Piecemeal,

Affirmative.

All the best,
R&R

Dear R&R,

Okay, here's the deal: I'm an Olympic Medalist in skiing and I just got my chops busted for talking about how I *might* have skied drunk during this one race. But see, I didn't mean that I was actually skiing drunk, bra. What I meant that I was totally hungover before that race--not trashed while doing it--which is 100% different. Can I get an "Amen" from the A.A. chorus on that one? Anyway, my question to you is this: How are you babes able to party like rock stars at night then perform so well the next day?

Peace out,
B.M.

Dear Fellow Special Olympian,

Though we'd like to tell you that we have some magic cure, the truth is neither R nor R ever drinks to much of the hooch. Ever. We'd like to be able to sympathize with your plight, but we can't because it goes beyond the power of our imaginations. However, we can suggest that you consult with a one James Frey. From what we gather he's been in this exact position and should be able to offer you some advice. And if he can't, rest assured that he's more than capable of making it up.

Luv,
R&R