Arrrrgh... Pirates!

On the one hand, it's not funny. On the other, it did make me laugh, so maybe it was just a wee bit amusing... I'm talking, of course, about the attempted pirate attack the other day on the "Spirit" cruise ship as it floated through the untroubled waters of Somalia.


Now the story may have made me snort because just last week I saw Pirates of the Carribean for the first time, and the notion of being attacked by Johnny Depp seems somehow attractive to me. Or maybe another reason for the "ha ha" was because I've long believed anyone who goes on a cruise ship a little bit gets what he deserves, be it a vomiting virus, pirates leaving rocket propelled grenades on board, or a Kathie Lee Gifford floor show. And let's not even talk about the elephant in the room--no, I don't mean probability that your "unsinkable ship" will hit an iceberg--I mean all that weight gain! Honestly, cruise ships are just like 24-hour-a-day floating buffets (as opposed to 24 hours a day of Phoebe Buffet -- enough with the "Friends" syndication already!)

But the fact that these gluttons are vacationing off the coast of Somalia, I mean doesn't that deserve some sort of retribution?

Okay, no: no one "deserves" to get attacked by pirates (unless it's some sort of sex fantasy, in which case "Arrrgh, matey, unbatton thy hatches.") And I suppose the notion of "shipjacking" is a lot less glamorous if it doesn't involve my crush from Jump Street. But if Leon Klinghoffer taught us anything, it's that even if you're on Disney's Big Red Boat, you may be floating in the Happiest Place on Earth, but you're still a sitting duck. (Arrrrgh, that was in bad taste, and I apologize a little.)