Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful!

Don't know what the weather's like where you are, but if you're anywhere near the NYC vicinity, you know today's one of those crap-ass "should-i-really-bother-going-to-work-since-i-know-by-the-time-i-get-to-the-office-my-shoes-will-be-soaked-through-and-my-wet-jeans-will-stick-to-my-inner-thigh-in-an-incredibly-uncomfortable-fashion-at-least-until-I-can-sneak-into-the-bathroom-and-point-the-handblower-at-my-crotch-and-pray-that-the-blowing-will-be-complete-by-the-time-any-of-my-co-workers-come-in-see-me-and-think-I-have-some-sort-of-weird-hot-air-fetish-so-there’s-no-way-I’m-going-to-be-productive?” days. So my vote would be, “No!”

But yeah, it’s just that gross out. Still, there is some happy news to report today!

Don’t know how I missed this story a few days ago, but the British News Telegraph reported an amazing story about how one of my favorite products, The Wonderbra, LITERALLY saved a woman’s life (it has saved my life in a much more ‘figurative’ sense since puberty).


Anyway, apparently this woman, Helen Kelly (no relation to Helen Keller, I don’t think, but I’ll bet she gets teased plenty, nonetheless) was caught in the crossfire of a shootout. However, Miss Kelly survived the incident almost entirely unharmed thanks to the fact that the underwire in her bra foiled the bullet!

Here’s the hyperlink to the story, which I encourage you to read for yourself because it’s hilarious and not just because the whole idea of a bullet bra stopping a bullet is so delicious. See if when you read it, you, too, are struck by the notion of how little attention is paid to the actual fact that a bra stopped a bullet. Instead, the reported piece seems much more interested in describing the events of the shootout.

I also love that the woman, realizing she’s been shot but not knowing if she’ll survive, is quoted as saying: "Then things started going through my mind. I sat down and thought, 'Well, this is it. I have done all my washing so my mum won't have to go through all my dirty clothes when I'm dead.' " Brilliant!

And I hope by calling attention to this story we’ll encourage our department of defense to look into the bulk purchase of Wonderbras to better outfit our troops in Iraq. I’m almost certain that if the insurgents see our troops properly outfitted in flak-catching Wonderbras, they will realize their battle has been hopelessly lost.