On Not Getting What You Don't Want

A good friend of mine, let's call her "Robin," recently told me a funny story about how she didn't get a job that she really didn't want in the first place. What made me laugh was that she said she found rejection at the hand of people she'd thought to be nincompoops utterly horrifying. Way worse than being passed over for a job she really did want, in fact. When she learned she hadn't gotten the job, "Robin" might have even said, "it feels like I just got my balls cut off by the retarded cashier at McDonalds.

What particularly galled my girl was that this was not a job she'd gone after, it came and offered itself to her. She then had to prepare herself mentally for imagining life at a workplace she didn't want to go to. And even though the pay was far less than she hoped for, she realized that she could put off the heart surgery she needed until the health plan kicked in a year later. The interview she felt went fairly smoothly but for her creeping sense of dread that the walls were closing in and that her heart might explode in her chest.

"Robin" then naturally assumed she'd hear back from these people immediately. When a few days had gone by and no "when can you start?" word had been received, she was a little irritated, but not surprised. Clearly they needed someone like her to get the place running properly. When two weeks had elapsed and there was still no contact, she was curious but by no means furious. She called the head of HR two and a half weeks later just to "check in," but was given the old human resources dodge: oh, yes, the person making the final hiring decision is traveling, but will get back to you just as soon as he can. Well, a month and a half later, Robin got a form letter thanking her for her interest, and saying though they had chosen someone else for the position, they would keep her resume on file. That's when "Robin" let loose a flurry of curse words that even made a hardened old potty-mouth like me blush crimson.

I think part of the reason I found her story so amusing was because it's something I know I can certainly relate to--hello Rejection from an editorship at Playgirl!--and I think it's one of those universal "holy shit, did this really just happen to me?!?" things that just sucks hard. Needless to say, that's why I'd love to hear anyone else's tales of mortification, so if you're so inclined, please share and spread the joy of your pain with our community of rejects.