!Ask Robin & Renée!

We finally got a few letters in the old mailbag, which means it's time for our favorite recurring segment "!Ask Robin & Renée!"


Dear Robin & Renée,

As you and the rest of the world probably know, my hero, Britney Spears, and her adorable husband, Kevin Federline, gave birth to a baby boy yesterday! :) It was the happiest day of my life!!! :) My question to you is, what shall I send them to congratulate them on this most beautiful and blessed event? :)

:)
Tiffany

A: Birth control.

Love-n-stuff,
R&R


Dear Robin & Renée,

Brit & K-Fed are parents!!! This is the biggest news EVER!!! Isn't this just the coolest???

Sincerely,
The Editorial Staff of Us Weekly

A: Dear Slave Laborers,

Stockholm Syndrome got you down? Dudes, get a grip: this loin product will simply be the sum of its parts, meaning it won't know how to wear a baseball cap properly, it won't understand the concept of wearing an undershirt UNDER a SHIRT, and often it'll find itself scratching its head wondering, "how did I get here with so little natural talent?"

Now knock it off and get back to reporting on the important matters like whether Nick and Jessica are really getting separated, or whether that whole Johnny Knoxville thing was just a clever plot thought up by master planner Joe Simpson to create a publicity maelstrom... well, you get the point.

Love-n-stuff
R&R

We got about 3,500 other letters about the excitement over the B/K spawn, but this was all we could handle answering for today. Simply put, we were exhausted by the coverage and couldn't stand thinking about it for one second more lest our heads explode.

But if you, dear reader, have any other questions concerning any other subject, please feel free to either post them to the comments section or email us directly at shakingherassets@hotmail.com and we'll be happy to tackle your trauma with the perfect mixture of love and callous disregard.