The Perils of Technology

C'mon, admit it, when you saw this picture on the front page of the New York Times this morning, didn't you think to yourself "Cooool, that just looks like the most fun amusement park ride EVER!" And then when you read the story and learned that it was, in fact, not a ride operated by carneys but rather by the NYTransit Authority (a fine distinction, I realize) and that it was the Tramway bound for Roosevelt Island that got stuck midair, you still didn't chuckle just a bit? Okay, I admit it, this might have been my precise reaction, too. Well, I also thought to myself: Roosevelt Island? People seriously go there? Weird.

I'm sure were it me and not Kelsey Lazio, the 12-year-old daughter of NY Senate also-ran Rick, who got stuck up there that I probably wouldn't have mused, "Hey, didn't I see this precise scene in the last Spiderman flick?" or "Wasn't the publicity campaign for Mission Impossible III being put on hold in honor of TomKat's kitten?" or "Feh, that doesn't look so dangerous, you should have been in the cab with me last weekend as we bumper-carred through midtown."

But it was when I learned the cause of the midair suspension, that my cold cold heart started melting for them just a bit. Turns out the tram didn't stop running because of the evil Dr. Octavius. Nor was it the result of a Thetan invasion. And most surprisingly, MTA Union President Roger Touissant had nothing to do with the tram stoppage. It was a simple power outage that froze that tram. And power outages are a bitch! I hate them not only because they kill perfectly good containers of Heath Bar Crunch ice cream, not only because during the August 14, 2003 city-wide outage did they ruin Renee's birthday party, but because they remind us precisely how dependent we are on technology.

You see in a rather interesting twist of fate, my remote connection to the big techie server at my company went down this morning and rendered me an even more ineffective worker than usual. My dependence on all things technical made me aware of just how useless I am without it. Made me think I might as well just call it a day right now. Might as well just go outside and bask in the beautiful weather or something. Frolic in the loveliness that is springtime in New York. What a horrible fate... Damn you, technology, for forcing me into the sunlight. So if you see me tomorrow with a golden suntan, don't think it's because I decided to take a day off to celebrate this outrageously good weather, just blame it on technology.