Wednesday, March 15, 2006

!Ask Robin & Renée!

To say the mailbag overfloweth here at Chat with R&R would be a complete understatement (in a vastly overstated kind of way). So it's high time we do some spring cleaning and take a look at what we've got in the box (in a decidedly non-ESTy way). That's right, faithful reader, it's time for !Ask Robin & Renée!

Dear Robin & Renée,

Lately I find myself getting ticked off at the most insignificant things. The random change in weather patterns, the broohahas over various "fake" writers, the photos of men in their underpants on the front page of the New York Times. What gives? Why I am so angry all the time?

Sincerely Pissed
Oh Piss,

We feel you, we do! Matter of fact, we, too, have found our equanimity in a twist over some of life's smaller matters: the unstoppably precocious brothers Foer for one. (It's like yeah, thanks, we get it, you boys are bright! A best selling novelist, the editor-in-chief of a well-respected magazine, the winner of the national memory contest, Dahyenu! Leave a little naches for some other jewish parents, okay?) We were also angered to distraction yesterday by the guy sharing the mat with us at the gym who, despite the fact that there wasn't enough room, was so into his music that he started shaking his ass and head all around, splattering us with the sweat off his hair. We were, in fact, so incensed by this we pushed him to the ground, gave him a towel-whipping then shouted, "Hey Olivia Newton-John, you're not in Xanadu anymore!" And we just can not believe--we CAN NOT believe--that South Dakota has decided to go communist.

Then we realized something: it's March Madness time! It's that crazy period where everything stops so that people can celebrate the recruiting practices of not always honorable college basketball coaches. Your hysteria fits into this larger context of national madness, Pissy. So don't fret, if you're anything like us, you'll no doubt be returned to your state of slacker apathy soon enough. But in the meantime we suggest you do something constructive with all that anger, say, learn a foreign language, do some spin art, kick a hipster. Ultimately it's all about making the world a better place.

Truly, madly, deeply
Dear R&R

I've started reading Neil Strauss's book, The Game, a bible-shaped tome detailing the writer's journey to becoming a pick up artist. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I kind of like it. Does this make me an asshole?

Seriously, I love you,

Dear Chumpy,

While we're tempted to answer with a smug "yuh-huh," we won't. Since we're familiar with the work of Mr. Strauss, and we're actually familiar with Mr. Strauss himself--or we were in his pre-makeover New York days--we'll just say we always thought he was a good writer but we also realized in many ways he's always been a jerk and a liar. We feel the same way about The Game. We find it entertaining for sure, but we caution that believing in his "transformation" or anything he says or writes might take you more into JT LeRoy territory than that of your beloved Cassanova.

Not yours, not his and definitely not Mystery's,

Dear R&R,

When are they going to make the movie of SHAKING HER ASSETS? Can't wait!

Steven Spielberg

Thanks for your interest but we've decided we don't want to let Hollywood have it right now. We're artists and we can't be bought*.

*unless we also get points on the back end.


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