Monday, February 12, 2007

I See Naked People

I arrived home yesterday and found this note taped to the outer door of my apartment building:

Dear Tenants:

Your neighbors respectfully request that the relatively new residents (who display a menorah in their north facing window) use a curtain in the evenings for their living room. It will help protect all of our privacy. Thank you.

In a city like New York, a city where seeing neighbors in various states of undress is as common and expected as seeing the sun come up each morning, you know people aren't inspired to write a letter like that unless they've seen some serious shit go down--multiple times.

Now sadly I must confess that I'm neither a new resident to my building, nor do I have a menorah in my window, so I know the letter writer is not talking to me (nor, evidently, has s/he been particularly impressed by the goings on in my living room.)

But the question remains, what must this letter writer have glimpsed... repeatedly? Not only am I morbidly curious to learn the details, I'm also somewhat proud. As a member of the menorah minority, I now have epistolatory confirmation that there are at least two (or three?) kinky heebs out there who are getting some hot and noteworthy action. All I can say is "mazel tov, kids!" You are living a living testament to our "be fruitful and multiply" mandate.


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