Ask Robin & Renée

Today we begin a new feature on the blog called, "!Ask R&R!" (Well, actually we're open to suggestions on that title since it's not terribly clever--despite the flashy Spanish punctuation--so I'm not married to it... or to anything else for that matter... but enough about my commitment issues.)

Anyway, though "!Ask R&R!" lacks a certain pizzazz, it is fairly evocative. Chances are, you're not now scratching your head wondering what "!Ask R&R!" means, are you? Because if you are, you might just be too dumb to live... which conveniently brings us to our first question in the "Ask R&R" mailbag:

Dear R&R,

I'm a first time questioner, but a longtime reader, so can I just start by saying how much I love you girls?

(A: Yes!)

Okay, now here's my real question: As a television host-cum-spiritual leader, is it ever okay to call for the assassination of a foreign dictator?

Yours in Purgatory,
B.Z. Elbub, aka Pat Robertson

And here's our response:

Dear Gentle Reader,

Though as tempting as an overly made-up, tight jeaned wearing Church secretary, calling for the death of a dictator--no, wait, I'm even going to go further--calling for the death of ANYONE seems a little, uh, TOTALLY AGAINST the spirit of peace, love and forgiveness that you're supposed to be preaching, you hateful bloated bastard. So, no, it's not okay, capice? *And apologizing for it after the fact doesn't make it any less EGREGIOUS.

Luv 'n Stuff
R&R

Yep, that's basically how it's going to work. If you have a question, please feel free to e-mail it to us and we'll answer it ASAP, because that's just the kind of girls we are. And if you don't e-mail us questions, we'll make them up because we're those kind of girls, too. Capice?

We're waiting...