His Cheating Heart

You've been asking about Jay. Wondering where he's been. If we had some sort of falling out or brutal melee. You were curious if I went all Norman Mailer on his ass. Maybe you even secretly suspected I made him flee to France, just like Renee.

Well, children, I hate to tell you this, but it turns out that the reason Jay's been slacking on this site (aside from his well-documented laziness), is because he's been having an affair with another website. A Brooklyn-based website! An older website at that. I know, it's like, "kill me now!"

Check out the evidence for yourself if you don't believe me:
Is Chris Dodd White Enough?

Honestly, my mother always told me never to trust a man in an Elmo birthday hat and tight-fitting Abercrombie T. I should have listened before I let it get this far. Well, we'll see if he tries to work his way back into our hearts in the days to come. I'm not sure I can trust him anymore... but salty snacks and flowers could go a long way, that's all I'm saying. (Did you hear that, Jay? Salty snacks and flowers...)