Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Notification From Department (Police)

It says something about my conscience, I suppose, that when I saw that subject line in my inbox this morning, my overly-caffeinated heart momentarily tried to leap from its cavity. See I watched My Name Is Earl this year and I've learned about Karma. Previously I thought karma only affected chameleons. I believe it was the Bard who said, It comes and goes, it comes and go-e-oh-oes.

But a few weeks ago, I was convinced karma had finally caught up with me in the form of jack-booted state trooper, despite the fact that I was speeding like an Andretti-on-crack trying to avoid it. I admit I've been very very very very very very lucky over the years concerning my inability to drive the speed limit. I'd been pulled over but once in all my driving years and only through extreme good luck and a car-load of short-skirted women was I able to avoid getting the ticket. But when I saw the mean reds flashing behind me on a recent excursion, I thought to myself, "Well, good for you copper! It's been a long time coming." I didn't cry, I didn't lift my shirt, I just responded to the "Do you know why you've been pulled over, Ma'am?" question with a nod of the head and a big smile.

And then something amazing happened. The state trooper nodded back at me, told me I'd been clocked doing 25 miles over the speed limit (quite a relief!), then instructed me to have a nice day and be on my way.

So you see, when I saw the "Notification From Department (Police)" message in my e-mail box, I immediately thought to myself, what went around has now come around.

Imagine my disgust then when while reading through this missive that I learned: "You have been sent this email notification from the Department of Intellectual Property and Informational Technologies." Clearly this was naught but misdirected junk since obviously I'm in possession of no discernible intellectual property whatsoever. The letter went on to say that my hotmail address was currently under suspicion of false financial activities and "We earnestly ask you to complete all the fields in the attached document and send it by fax (04 498-7400) or by e-mail so that we may eliminate you from our investigation."

But the best part of this (Police) message, was the sign off at the bottom. Instead of using I dunno, "Sincerely," the man from the Department of Intellectual Property and Informational Technologies, says, "Yours faithfully."

Mine faithfully? No one ever has EVER been mine faithfully... And then the kicker, he signs it "Michael Lucky Tuluona." Lucky indeed! As in, what kind of dumb luck would he have to have if someone were actually to respond to this? Then again, perhaps it's just another manifestation of karma. Perhaps I should fill out the forn, get my bank account drained and repay my debt, especially considering the fact that me and my lead foot will be hitting the roads again very shortly.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I found funny, is that the attachment was from the "Plolice"!

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