Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Newborn Speaks

Hello, and thanks for coming out today to the "This is not just a cheap attempt to exploit the tragic death of Anna's beloved son" press conference. I know many of you paid a great deal of money to be here, but if you look under your seats, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find a goodie bag, which includes special Halloween Peeps and last month's issue of Vanity Fair, because we wanted to make this a classy affair.

I'm Howard K. Stern, aka, "Howard, the Jewish lawyer" from the Anna Nicole Show on E! and Anna has authorized me to speak on her behalf today because contractually she's only allowed to utter the phrase "TrimSpa, baby!"

But as the flurry of interest surrounding Daniel's tragic overdose slows, Anna and I both thought it was important to let her adoring fans know that she won't soon forget her boy, regardless of how much medication she's taking. In fact, Anna's again opted to act with dignity and has decided to name her daughter after Daniel. Her birth certificate officially reads, "Dannie Lynn Hope." But to us, she'll always be known as "Replacement."

There's also been a bit of controversy surrounding the issue of Replacement's paternity. Yes, I know you're all a lot less interested to learn that I am, in fact, the father than the fact of how I managed to impregnate the drug addled Anna. You're saying, "but she's been in a medically induced coma for the past two years," and I'm saying, "you're not wrong." But, where there's a will, there's a way. And since the will of J. Howard Marshall, Anna's dead billionaire husband, was just validated, let's just say, I found a way!

I'll now entertain your questions... at $100 a pop.


Blogger oakleyses said...

tiffany jewelry, louboutin shoes, kate spade outlet online, polo ralph lauren, nike air max, burberry outlet online, oakley vault, michael kors outlet, tiffany and co jewelry, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, nike free, longchamp outlet, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, louis vuitton, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, oakley sunglasses, coach outlet, christian louboutin outlet, tory burch outlet, coach outlet, longchamp outlet online, michael kors outlet online, chanel handbags, cheap oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, ray ban outlet, prada handbags, prada outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, michael kors outlet store, nike shoes, michael kors outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, gucci handbags, louis vuitton handbags, red bottom shoes, kate spade handbags

October 24, 2014 9:43 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

lacoste pas cher, ray ban pas cher, true religion outlet, vans pas cher, nike free pas cher, nike air max, nike roshe, air max, tn pas cher, barbour, chaussure louboutin, converse pas cher, michael kors uk, mulberry, hollister, lululemon, ray ban uk, new balance pas cher, true religion, hollister, louis vuitton pas cher, louis vuitton uk, sac louis vuitton, nike air force, longchamp pas cher, nike free, north face, north face pas cher, air jordan, nike roshe run, timberland, louis vuitton, nike trainers, longchamp, true religion outlet, scarpe hogan, sac vanessa bruno, ralph lauren, air max pas cher, oakley pas cher, nike air max, burberry pas cher, hermes pas cher, sac michael kors, nike blazer pas cher, nike huarache, michael kors canada, abercrombie and fitch, ralph lauren pas cher, guess pas cher

October 24, 2014 9:44 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

vans outlet, soccer shoes, beats headphones, marc jacobs outlet, mont blanc pens, babyliss pro, north face jackets, canada goose outlet, reebok shoes, canada goose uk, wedding dresses, uggs outlet, instyler ionic styler, chi flat iron, mcm handbags, herve leger, moncler, longchamp, insanity workout, uggs on sale, bottega veneta, canada goose pas cher, ugg soldes, abercrombie and fitch, ghd, hollister, rolex watches, ferragamo shoes, canada goose outlet, soccer jerseys, north face outlet, ugg, roshe run, nfl jerseys, valentino shoes, moncler outlet, giuseppe zanotti, canada goose outlet, ugg boots, mac cosmetics, jimmy choo shoes, lululemon outlet, birkin bag, asics shoes, canada goose, p90x workout, celine handbags, ugg outlet, new balance outlet, moncler

October 24, 2014 9:45 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

About Us

View our complete profile