Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Reminder: Marriage Is Cool!

I'm not against marriage. But as soon as I see some of the pro-marriage billboards in the New York transit system sponsored by Campaign for Our Children (an abstinence advocacy group), I intend to deface them.

One of the slogans the group intends to plaster across the subway platform is: "Married People Live Longer!" And under this, I'd have to scribble: "Unless You're a Woman, In Which Case You'll Die Sooner!" Another one of their quippy mottos is "Marriage Works," and to this I think there are any number of addendums one could scrawl like, "Until It Doesn't!" or "As Do Prunes!" or "For Those Who Willingly Ignore Statistics!"

They say the idea of the campaign is to prevent kids from impregnating one another until they've officially affixed the ball and chain. But once they get that "working marriage" up and running, they can copulate to their hearts' content or until they realize that marriage kills the sex drive (Michael Chabon's wife excluded.)


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