Wednesday, July 12, 2006

File Under "Bitter Much?"

Raoul Felder, who represented Mr. Giuliani in his divorce from Ms. Hanover, said he had see works of art and record collections slashed by angry spouses, a puppy put in the microwave and a cat in a washing machine. "The puppy died, the cat lived," he said. Real Estate and Rubble: When Marriages Go Awry

My jaw dropped when I read this story this morning on the subway. I mean I can completely understand the urge to toss kitty in a washing machine, but blowing up a perfetly good town house in this outrageously expensive real estate market almost made me puke. What was this schmuck thinking?

Granted, this Dr. Bartha, the Upper East Side blower-upper, was one crazy sonofabitch. Shortly before the explosion he e-mailed his ex-wife to say he was incredibly disappointed in her because she was supposed to educate her children "and I do not think that a cook and a seamstress is a very good result" -- his daughters respectively became a chef in New York City and a designer for Nike in the Netherlands.

Just imagine having the good fortune of being "treated" by this man...

"Hello, Doctor Bartha, good to see you again."
"You? How is it possible that you're still alive?"
"Oh, ha, ha, Doctor, you're such a kidder!"
"No, seriously. Last time you were here I was so bored by the whining about your heart problem, I prescribed you nitrogylcerin enough to explode a small Japanese city.

"What seems to be the problem?"
"Well, Doctor, I--"
"I'll tell you the problem: you're fat, ugly and stupid."

"Morning, Dr. Bartha, I've been having an irregular heart beat recently."
"And I'm a little worried it'll, you know, kill me."
"This would be a bad thing because...why?"

"Doctor, am I going to die?"

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