Dennis Hastert (R-Skankville)
One of the curious sidenotes to the wonderland that is the Foley scandal is that House speaker Dennis Hastert has been forced out from under the rock he usually lives under. For a man who has held the post of Republican House speaker longer than anyone in history, it's odd that he has flown so far under the radar.
But then you see his picture and realize that we are, in fact, a very lucky nation. For Dennis Hastert is one of the most ridiculously unappealing people on the face of the planet.
And frankly, who looks more like a pedophile, him or Foley?
Hmmm. Well, let's call it a tie.