Loneliness Officially A Crime
In probably the most tragic story I’ve read in weeks, and a sobering reminder for Robin and Renee, a woman in Oregon was arrested recently after using the 911 system to track down “the cute cop” who had answered her door earlier that the evening about a noise complaint.
That’s a crime??
Here’s how the lonely-hearted defendant, Lorna Jeanne Dudash, explained it to the dispatch operator: "He's the cutest cop I've seen in a long time. I just want to know his name. Heck, it doesn't come very often a good man comes to your doorstep."
But the hater operator found no sympathy in her heart for poor Lorna Jeanne. After being stonewalled, Dudash continued her appeal:
“Honey, I'm just going to be honest with you, OK? I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old, and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911. I know this is absolutely not in any way, shape or form an emergency, but if you would give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?"
And then the heartless bastards of Aloha, Oregon, arrested poor Lorna Jeanne.
I’m appalled. We all know how tough it is out there. Match.com is a joke. The bars are an insane asylum with a two drink minimum. And 45, as both Robin and Renee can attest, ain’t no walk on the beach. So let’s have a little sympathy for poor Lorna Jeanne Dudash. An immediate pardon is in order. And for god’s sake, someone get that woman a date.