It takes An Angie
Thank goodness: another child saved.
Angie tells Coop--Mrs. Jolie-Pitt, that is, in her first interview since returning to the US, which she accorded to Anderson Super-Hot Shit Cooper--that she and Mr. Jolie-Pitt will definitely adopt next. The interview airs tomorrow night, and it makes perfect sense that this is the nugget they're leaking, because while Angie was once an actress who made movies, kissed her brother, and made provocative comments about her exceedingly ripe sexuality, well, who cares anymore?
What we care about is that she'll have another pet to add to the menagerie, another little soldier to add the glamorous Jolie-Pitt Family Army as they march through airports in Paris, Ouagadougou and Laos, all baby-mohawks, Snuglis, Vuitton luggage and wraparound shades.
She tells Coop that she hasn't decided yet which country will get the Brangelina endorsement, but undoubtedly dozens of developing countries everywhere are lobbying for the priceless product placement opportunity. Demonstrating proof of being able to breed an indigenous specimen cute enough for the Jolie-Pitts guarantees instant United Nations membership and voting status on the security council.
Seriously famine-stricken and war-torn applicants only, please.