Tuesday, May 09, 2006

You get the Fate You're Named

By absolute principle, any man who assumes the nickname "Dusty"--as well as "Trip," "Quartie" or "Watty"--deserves what he gets. WASP entitlement is just not hip anymore, and if you go by some cloying New England name, and then get involved with corrupt congressmen, dirty lobbyists, and call girls at the Watergate, well then you deserve watchoo got coming.

But if your name is not only "Dusty," but "Dusty Foggo," then you should be stripped of your rep tie and Brooks Brothers suit, tarred and feathered, and then locked up for display in a go-go dancing cage at a gay club in some den of liberal iniquity, like New York City. It turns out Dusty Foggo is--was--the Number Three man at the CIA, but like a few too many WASP chronies in the beltway these days, he got a little complacent, and got involved with the wrong old boys. With a name like that--just saying it out loud takes me straight to a weekend clam bake on the Vineyard!--of course he was destined for power, money and the command of conservative institutions. And with a name like that, he also deserves to fall low and dirty, to someplace so dishonorable his grandfathers--say, Casden Ames and Atherton Walbridge, but I'm just guessing--would rather disown him than risk implication by association.

As it turns out, Dusty Foggo probably hasn't done anything worse than anyone else in DC these days--certainly no worse than Abramoff or the Duke--but his name is Dusty Foggo and he's finally going to have to pay the consequences.


Blogger Robin said...

But interestingly, when we take the anagram of his name, we realize Dusty Foggo is nothing more than a FUDGY STOOG, a GOOFY G. DUST, if you will. And methinks that lends even more poignance to the fatedness argument.

May 10, 2006 9:12 AM  

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