Friday, April 28, 2006

WWJD - Who Would Jenna Do?

During her uneven one-woman show now running at the Daryl Roth Theater, Sandra Bernhard takes a shot at Laura Bush for pushing abstinence as the proper means to prevent transmission of STDs. Noting the press accounts of her daughters’ boozy adventures, Bernhard rightly points out the hypocrisy of pushing a demonstrably ineffective method of sexual (non)expression that her own family almost certainly doesn’t practice. I mean, how many photos of a sauced Jenna crawling on the floor do we need to be treated to before serious questions about her own predilection for abstinence are raised?

And it’s exactly this kind of hypocrisy when it comes to those in power that is just getting to be too much to bear. But any attempt to point this out is often declared “out of bounds” because it infringes on the private lives of these public figures. Well, duh. That’s the point. Since these people are making law and policy that have a very direct impact on the private lives of certain groups of people, why shouldn’t their own private lives be at issue? Some of you might recall a story from a year ago when an NYU law student asked the visiting Justice Scalia whether he sodomized his wife. And of course the student got a lot of blowback for the comment. But he raised a good point. If Scalia is going to make pronouncements about individuals’ right to consensual sexual activity, shouldn’t his own be fair game? (Although, God help us should that sex tape surface). And Dick Cheney on his daughter Mary? Sweet Jesus, it was the only time the man showed the faintest hint of a soul when he refused to toe the party line and demonize two women’s constitutional right to wear robes and get blessed in a field by a Wiccan priestess.

So I say everyone’s now fair game. Did you shag Jenna in college? Then shout it out. (And get yourself to a clinic). Seriously, if abstinence is so important to the First Lady, let her explain why her daughters get a free pass.

Of course, it easy for me to advocate the exposure of private lives. I’m a total angel. Ask anyone.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I shagged Jenna in college. And I've been trying to get the taste of Bush out of my mouth ever since.

April 28, 2006 6:33 PM  
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