Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Namibian Names

If you have a heartbeat, you know that Brangelina are having their baby soon, that unlike their TomKitten counterparts, they're not doing any crazy scientologist shit like silent birth and adult-size pacifiers. No, instead they decided to have the baby at a beach resort in a remote Southern African country called Namibia. You know, Namibia--famous for its diamonds and its maternity wards. Just FYI, Namibia is sometimes called The Land God Made In Anger.

Apparently Angie and Brad did a little baby-shopping in Paris (as would I if I were super-pregs and about to burst) and then hopped a flight to Africa (which I wouldn't do for a trillion Euros and a lifetime supply of business-class upgrades). But Angie's taking this goodwill ambassador shit seriously, and she's doing a lovely job of proving that Western medicine is really overrated. Or that free-ranging lions are are an effective anti-papparazzi tactic.

Best of all, it appears that as the baby is going to be born in Namibia, they're going to give him a Namibian name (as reported by the prez of Namibia, who breakfasted with the Brangelina a few days ago). But what exactly are some Namibian names? What might possibly be the name of the little sister to Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt? Well, I did a little research and here are a few possibilities. Readers should feel free to vote on their fave.

1) Nehason Jolie-Pitt
2) Namholo Jolie-Pitt
3) Ueyulu Jolie-Pitt
4) Mandume Jolie-Pitt
5) Onomastikon Jolie-Pitt

Tha last one sounds a bit like an oral surgery procedure, but just go with it. Think of the nickname potential: "Ono Pitt."


Anonymous Leah said...

I hope to god they just name him John or something equally boring and plain.

Poor kid.

April 18, 2006 5:38 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

I contend someone that genetically blessed doesn't need a first name.

Still, I vote for #3 - Ueyulu. Reminds me of a cross between the words Ukulele, Uvula and Hey-you-too-bad-you'll-never-lead-a-normal-life.

April 19, 2006 9:35 AM  
Anonymous J. Harrington said...

Merciful tools! And why do we all follow this tacky couple's activities? In the long view do we really care? I pity the futures of the three children.
They should name the child Whango-Umi.

April 24, 2006 12:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am writing from Namibia - just for your information, we do have beautiful names and live in a very beautiful country!! I am proud that Angelina and Brad chose to have their baby here. We have up to date technology! So those ignorant will never know or learn what the rest of the world has to offer, there is good and bad in every country, including America - I know because I have also been and lived there.

April 26, 2006 6:46 AM  
Anonymous lourah said...

just to give a great sample of englisch (sorry, non-nativ-us-american, whatever that might be) names (and I'm being ironic here):

1) Larry (reminds me of lardy)
2) Randy (reminds me of random)
3) Monty (Python???)
4) Bruce (Brucy??? Brute, surely)
5) Danny (Dumbhead)

and for the girls:
1) Mary (Holy shit)
2) Dorothy (Don't rot here)
3) Sandy (badly washed salad in a cheap motel on one of your great highways full of stinking truckers with big fat bellys and no brains)
4) Betty (fatty)
5) Kimberly (something stupid, blond and giggling, with no sense of whats going on in the world whatsoever.)

must be great to live in a country where every name sounds the same.

May 25, 2006 2:16 PM  
Anonymous Sasha said...

I am an American who lived in a rural Namibia village for two years with a Namibian family. Ongame Sasha. Ondi hole aantu yaNamibia. Namibia is beautiful and has great names. Maybe the writer should stop masturbating to Brad and do better research before going totally neg next time.

August 08, 2006 9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I travelled to Namibia a few months ago. And unless you have been there, which I doubt you have reading your article you should save the skeptic attitude and research the country further as you would find it peaceful and beautiful, and deffinatley no lions at every turn of the corner.

June 14, 2008 11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

am african and am offended by the way you have potrayed our continent....FYI the lions do not roam free and if they do we are blesses b'cause we live with the nature s'thing you do not...and it's next to the beach that they chose to have the powerful...too bad that you do not like our continent, but funny thing that you all come here for holidays...i wonder why????

March 16, 2009 3:55 AM  
Anonymous said...

Oh my god, there's a great deal of useful material in this post!

October 27, 2011 2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pity how narrow minded you seemingly educated folk are. Such a shame

December 02, 2012 5:48 PM  
Anonymous Kassandra said...

My fiance was born in namibia, and we are expecting our baby in september, if its a boy we will name him with my fiances first name and my grandpas first name as a middle name. Angelina and Brad are a loving caring family that have a huge diverse family, which on end is truly amazing... I'm glad that angelina is able to have her child there....Its not every day that a pregnant women wake up and say " hey i think ill have my baby in this country, or this country or this country etc. So kudos to you angelina and brad. Your amazing parents and I am pretty sure your kids wouldnt have it any other way.

January 15, 2014 11:39 PM  
Anonymous Pandu said...

Some of you people are beyond ignorant. I am Namibia. I have lived here all my life. I have never seen a lion except on TV. go figure!

August 12, 2014 8:09 AM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

tiffany jewelry, louboutin shoes, kate spade outlet online, polo ralph lauren, nike air max, burberry outlet online, oakley vault, michael kors outlet, tiffany and co jewelry, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, nike free, longchamp outlet, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, louis vuitton, nike air max, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, oakley sunglasses, coach outlet, christian louboutin outlet, tory burch outlet, coach outlet, longchamp outlet online, michael kors outlet online, chanel handbags, cheap oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, ray ban outlet, prada handbags, prada outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, michael kors outlet store, nike shoes, michael kors outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, gucci handbags, louis vuitton handbags, red bottom shoes, kate spade handbags

October 24, 2014 9:48 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

lacoste pas cher, ray ban pas cher, true religion outlet, vans pas cher, nike free pas cher, nike air max, nike roshe, air max, tn pas cher, barbour, chaussure louboutin, converse pas cher, michael kors uk, mulberry, hollister, lululemon, ray ban uk, new balance pas cher, true religion, hollister, louis vuitton pas cher, louis vuitton uk, sac louis vuitton, nike air force, longchamp pas cher, nike free, north face, north face pas cher, air jordan, nike roshe run, timberland, louis vuitton, nike trainers, longchamp, true religion outlet, scarpe hogan, sac vanessa bruno, ralph lauren, air max pas cher, oakley pas cher, nike air max, burberry pas cher, hermes pas cher, sac michael kors, nike blazer pas cher, nike huarache, michael kors canada, abercrombie and fitch, ralph lauren pas cher, guess pas cher

October 24, 2014 9:49 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

vans outlet, soccer shoes, beats headphones, marc jacobs outlet, mont blanc pens, babyliss pro, north face jackets, canada goose outlet, reebok shoes, canada goose uk, wedding dresses, uggs outlet, instyler ionic styler, chi flat iron, mcm handbags, herve leger, moncler, longchamp, insanity workout, uggs on sale, bottega veneta, canada goose pas cher, ugg soldes, abercrombie and fitch, ghd, hollister, rolex watches, ferragamo shoes, canada goose outlet, soccer jerseys, north face outlet, ugg, roshe run, nfl jerseys, valentino shoes, moncler outlet, giuseppe zanotti, canada goose outlet, ugg boots, mac cosmetics, jimmy choo shoes, lululemon outlet, birkin bag, asics shoes, canada goose, p90x workout, celine handbags, ugg outlet, new balance outlet, moncler

October 24, 2014 9:50 PM  
Blogger Junda Xu said...

20151026 junda
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton outlet
nfl jerseys
cheap ugg boots
Coach Factory Outlet Online Sale
air max 95,nike golf,nike janoski,air max 1,nike canada,nike plus,nike shox,nike factory store
Louboutin Red Bottoms Shoes Outlet
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
ralph lauren polo
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet sale
ugg boots
Authentic Louis Vuitton Handbags Cheap Online
mont blanc
michael kors outlet
Gucci Outlet Online Sale
michael kors handbags
Authentic Louis Vuitton Belts Outlet Store
michael kors outlet
Coach Factory Outlet Private Sale
true religion jeans
tory burch outlet
Oakley Vault Outlet Store Online
hollister clothing store
nike trainers
Louis Vuitton Handbags Official Site
michael kors handbag
Louis Vuitton Handbags Factory Store
uggs australia

October 26, 2015 7:24 AM  
Blogger roba. gad3 said...

October 15, 2016 10:14 PM  
Blogger Love Kpop said...

I'm puzzled with lots of exercises. I was afraid I could not do the right time despite my hard work. I need a support person.

February 22, 2018 11:02 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

About Us

View our complete profile