Namibian Names
If you have a heartbeat, you know that Brangelina are having their baby soon, that unlike their TomKitten counterparts, they're not doing any crazy scientologist shit like silent birth and adult-size pacifiers. No, instead they decided to have the baby at a beach resort in a remote Southern African country called Namibia. You know, Namibia--famous for its diamonds and its maternity wards. Just FYI, Namibia is sometimes called The Land God Made In Anger.
Apparently Angie and Brad did a little baby-shopping in Paris (as would I if I were super-pregs and about to burst) and then hopped a flight to Africa (which I wouldn't do for a trillion Euros and a lifetime supply of business-class upgrades). But Angie's taking this goodwill ambassador shit seriously, and she's doing a lovely job of proving that Western medicine is really overrated. Or that free-ranging lions are are an effective anti-papparazzi tactic.
Best of all, it appears that as the baby is going to be born in Namibia, they're going to give him a Namibian name (as reported by the prez of Namibia, who breakfasted with the Brangelina a few days ago). But what exactly are some Namibian names? What might possibly be the name of the little sister to Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt? Well, I did a little research and here are a few possibilities. Readers should feel free to vote on their fave.
1) Nehason Jolie-Pitt
2) Namholo Jolie-Pitt
3) Ueyulu Jolie-Pitt
4) Mandume Jolie-Pitt
5) Onomastikon Jolie-Pitt
Tha last one sounds a bit like an oral surgery procedure, but just go with it. Think of the nickname potential: "Ono Pitt."
posted by Renée
at 1:54 PM
10 Comments:
I hope to god they just name him John or something equally boring and plain.
Poor kid.
I contend someone that genetically blessed doesn't need a first name.
Still, I vote for #3 - Ueyulu. Reminds me of a cross between the words Ukulele, Uvula and Hey-you-too-bad-you'll-never-lead-a-normal-life.
Merciful tools! And why do we all follow this tacky couple's activities? In the long view do we really care? I pity the futures of the three children.
They should name the child Whango-Umi.
I am writing from Namibia - just for your information, we do have beautiful names and live in a very beautiful country!! I am proud that Angelina and Brad chose to have their baby here. We have up to date technology! So those ignorant will never know or learn what the rest of the world has to offer, there is good and bad in every country, including America - I know because I have also been and lived there.
just to give a great sample of englisch (sorry, non-nativ-us-american, whatever that might be) names (and I'm being ironic here):
1) Larry (reminds me of lardy)
2) Randy (reminds me of random)
3) Monty (Python???)
4) Bruce (Brucy??? Brute, surely)
5) Danny (Dumbhead)
and for the girls:
1) Mary (Holy shit)
2) Dorothy (Don't rot here)
3) Sandy (badly washed salad in a cheap motel on one of your great highways full of stinking truckers with big fat bellys and no brains)
4) Betty (fatty)
5) Kimberly (something stupid, blond and giggling, with no sense of whats going on in the world whatsoever.)
must be great to live in a country where every name sounds the same.
I am an American who lived in a rural Namibia village for two years with a Namibian family. Ongame Sasha. Ondi hole aantu yaNamibia. Namibia is beautiful and has great names. Maybe the writer should stop masturbating to Brad and do better research before going totally neg next time.
I travelled to Namibia a few months ago. And unless you have been there, which I doubt you have reading your article you should save the skeptic attitude and research the country further as you would find it peaceful and beautiful, and deffinatley no lions at every turn of the corner.
am african and am offended by the way you have potrayed our continent....FYI the lions do not roam free and if they do we are blesses b'cause we live with the nature s'thing you do not...and it's next to the beach that they chose to have the baby...how powerful...too bad that you do not like our continent, but funny thing that you all come here for holidays...i wonder why????
Oh my god, there's a great deal of useful material in this post!
Pity how narrow minded you seemingly educated folk are. Such a shame
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