If you have a heartbeat, you know that Brangelina are having their baby soon, that unlike their TomKitten counterparts, they're not doing any crazy scientologist shit like silent birth and adult-size pacifiers. No, instead they decided to have the baby at a beach resort in a remote Southern African country called Namibia. You know, Namibia--famous for its diamonds and its maternity wards. Just FYI, Namibia is sometimes called The Land God Made In Anger.
Apparently Angie and Brad did a little baby-shopping in Paris (as would I if I were super-pregs and about to burst) and then hopped a flight to Africa (which I wouldn't do for a trillion Euros and a lifetime supply of business-class upgrades). But Angie's taking this goodwill ambassador shit seriously, and she's doing a lovely job of proving that Western medicine is really overrated. Or that free-ranging lions are are an effective anti-papparazzi tactic.
Best of all, it appears that as the baby is going to be born in Namibia, they're going to give him a Namibian name (as reported by the prez of Namibia, who breakfasted with the Brangelina a few days ago). But what exactly are some Namibian names? What might possibly be the name of the little sister to Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Chivan Jolie-Pitt? Well, I did a little research and here are a few possibilities. Readers should feel free to vote on their fave.
1) Nehason Jolie-Pitt
2) Namholo Jolie-Pitt
3) Ueyulu Jolie-Pitt
4) Mandume Jolie-Pitt
5) Onomastikon Jolie-Pitt
Tha last one sounds a bit like an oral surgery procedure, but just go with it. Think of the nickname potential: "Ono Pitt."