It's the Prom issue!
March is finally here, and we all know what that means: prom season!
It used to arrive in late Febrary, bulky and heavy, wrapped in plastic and with a binding thick enough to rival the September issue of Vogue. It was the Seventeen magazine March prom issue, and it sent my heart aflutter with the delusional hope that maybe, just maybe, I'd graduate to the ranks of normal this year, that Jason, the varsity soccer forward would totally finally see how beautiful I was--well, at least how much potentially I had, and above all, what a stunning, crowd-stopping prom date I would be! This year I'd be like the popular girls, the ones whose mothers actually took them to big shopping mall in Syracuse that had real department stores, stores that carried a whole department just for Juniors, with whole racks of bubble skirts, irridescent taffeta, sweetheart necklines, shirred lame, and stretch sequin and chiffon dresses.
It was clear to me that the right prom dress would change everything, it would reveal the real irresistible me to the whole school and they'd all wonder where I'd been during the first three marking periods of the year! I just needed for Jason to see that inside the mousy chipmunk-cheeked dweeb who walked by his locker everyday between 3rd and 4th periods there was, like, a Seventeen prom issue model lookalike just waiting to fill out her Gunne Saxe gown.
Because what was the prom in the 80's without Gunne Saxe and Jessica McClintock? And guess what: the house of pearls and lace and countless fashion trainwrecks is back! They have mysteriously spawned a third label, Scott McClintock, who must be their designing son, genetically engineered to come out the womb flamboyant. The good news is that he designs JUST like his parents...