So I'm Square, So Kill Me
I know it's unhip to like Beyoncé.
It's worse than unhip: it's mainstream Top 40 kitsch outerborough middle America mass MTV square. Bottom line is that it's bad and just a CD or two away from buying the Mariah Carey album. But fact is I like Beyoncé, her diva presence, her borderline tasteful bling, her faux bad-ass home-girl persona (Betta be street if he lookin' at me), her plunging gowns draped over an epic derriere. Shit, I like her damn music.
But what I'm really loving about Beyoncé of late is that ass thing. In the video for her latest single, "Check Up On It,"--a song that's all about the ass thing--Beyonce and her girls do some insane eye-popping booty-shake stuff. Cue the ghetto mini-skirt, the stilettos, the line-up of smoldering, junk-in-the-trunk backup singers, and the shake-it lyrics:
Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it, I'm gone let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight
And honey--whatever dip it, twork it, pop it, stop it means, those girls are doing it with their booties. At the speed of light. With a come hither grimace. Holding on to the back of a chair. Without even blinking. I mean this stuff is genius. And, frankly, really hard to do in your living room.
What can I say. Sigh. Watch it and marvel.