Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Sick Joke Dept.

In the Department of Primal Fears, Sub-category Please God Never Ever Let This Happen to Me, Division of B-list Horror Movie Stunts--with the caveat that this actually happened: a 3-year-old Bronx girl was standing in the shower when a rat crawled through a broken tile, pounced on her back and sank its teeth into her flesh. As she wiggled furiously trying to make it let go--which it wouldn't--she slipped and hit her head on the faucet. Two years later, she now suffers from seizure disorder, rat phobia and panic disorder.


This kind of thing is never supposed to happen. It's against the rules. It's supposed to be a sick vision when you see a rat on the subway tracks and you imagine it jumping up in one bionic leap and sinking its sharp rat teeth into the vulnerable flesh of your jugular.

It's supposed to be an irrational panic that overtakes you as you're standing in the shower with your eyes closed, rinsing shampoo from your hair, and you're suddenly sure there's a huge, wet rat about to scurry up your leg. But it's not supposed to be real.

Exept this was a very real rat, who probably spawned lots of fearless rat babies who grew into ugly super-size rats, who are scurrying through air ducts and heat vents right now, as you read this, finding ratty ways into your building, your floor, your shower...


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November 02, 2005 8:31 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

A-ha, so essentially you're saying the line between rats and real estate brokers is a thin one indeed, eh?

November 02, 2005 10:26 AM  
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