SHAKING blog

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Reasons to Have a Baby



Akshooally--that's not what I really mean. What I really mean is reasons to know people who are having babies, so you can freeload on the always well-catered and well-lubricated baby-related events.

While Robin just turned 23 yesterday, I have been 32 for a goodly number of months now. And as you and yours may have already discovered, this appears to be when people procreate. A lot.

I know all the right questions: how is the nausea, have you picked the stroller, that's okay, everyone gets the Bugaboo, I know there's just no comfortable position to sleep in, definitely go with the epidural, the Prada diaper bag is overrated, yes, pick the nanny with the green card, you're only waking up twice a night--that's great, I know--TV is so distracting when you're trying to breastfeed.

But it's all a big ingratiating act, just a series of over-broad smiles to earn admission to all the events: the boss-sponsored baby shower for the pregnanat ladies at work, with pomegranate margaraitas they can't drink but I sure can, and the 3-course catered lunch...the co-ed baby shower for the proto-hip parents to be, with the Magnum of Veuve Clicquot and that excellent babka the sister in law brings from Long Island. And don't get me started on the bris and the naming ceremonies, with the spongy-fresh blinis with real caviar and hard liquor at 11 in the morning.

It may be that no one tells you life will never be the same after the baby--but nor do they tell the friends just what a fabulous party it is for me! So keep mating, friends. Cheers!

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kind of like not wanting to own a sailboat, but to know someone who does. That way, you can go out a couple times in the summer--and who really needs more than that--without the ghastly expense and headaches of actual boat ownership.

November 17, 2005 3:10 PM  
Anonymous Paula said...

Too little time to post a nice comment, but good job anyway on the blog. I'm actually lookign for baby nursery mural sites. I'll click a few more links down on the SE results. Thanks.

January 05, 2006 8:04 AM  
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