Reasons to Have a Baby

Akshooally--that's not what I really mean. What I really mean is reasons to know people who are having babies, so you can freeload on the always well-catered and well-lubricated baby-related events.

While Robin just turned 23 yesterday, I have been 32 for a goodly number of months now. And as you and yours may have already discovered, this appears to be when people procreate. A lot.

I know all the right questions: how is the nausea, have you picked the stroller, that's okay, everyone gets the Bugaboo, I know there's just no comfortable position to sleep in, definitely go with the epidural, the Prada diaper bag is overrated, yes, pick the nanny with the green card, you're only waking up twice a night--that's great, I know--TV is so distracting when you're trying to breastfeed.

But it's all a big ingratiating act, just a series of over-broad smiles to earn admission to all the events: the boss-sponsored baby shower for the pregnanat ladies at work, with pomegranate margaraitas they can't drink but I sure can, and the 3-course catered lunch...the co-ed baby shower for the proto-hip parents to be, with the Magnum of Veuve Clicquot and that excellent babka the sister in law brings from Long Island. And don't get me started on the bris and the naming ceremonies, with the spongy-fresh blinis with real caviar and hard liquor at 11 in the morning.

It may be that no one tells you life will never be the same after the baby--but nor do they tell the friends just what a fabulous party it is for me! So keep mating, friends. Cheers!