Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Memoir of My Daughter Neenee

Ithaca, September 28 --
Jane Kaplan, mother to the troubled goodie-goodie, Renée "Néenée" Kaplan, has a memoir coming out in January, Her Mother's Daughter. It apparently spells out the none-too-surprising series of trivial events that turned Néenée into the publicly non-descript figure she is today. Highlights: "Renée started in on the sugar when she was 6 years old. She was caught reading abridged Harlequins in the public library at age 9 and was kicked out of every school she attended for kissing the teacher's ass and ingratiating herself like a pliant do-gooder… She took an early stab at geekiness at 12, and successfully became a social outcast whose perpetual fear of getting her period made her a recluse. One Hannukah Eve, she guzzled Karo corn syrup until her tongue stuck to her teeth, then ran out into a field and started making snow angels." But this kind of says everything you need to know: "When she was 4 years old, her father, Steve, would dose her with calculus problems and draw red x's though all the wrong answers when it became evident she would never do well on the math part of the SAT." But Néenée has never been the type to need others to speak for her. Some choice quotes from a recent interview with The Chronicle of Higher Education: "I think if you don't get into Yale -- the minute it happens you're like, 'What the fuck am I gonna do with my life?' That's what's stopped me over the years … I'm the kind of girl you wanna ask for definitions of polysyllabic words, but then you don't want to tell your friends." (Page Six, Spin)


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