SHAKING blog

Thursday, June 02, 2005

When Children Attack

...is going to be the title of my new reality show. As I soon embark on new adventures, explore other options, spend more time with my family, write my memoirs, and panhandle, I've also decided to create a television show that'll lower the viewer bar one more notch--BAM!

Because what do you do when children attack? In the past week alone, a 9-year-old girl in New York fatally stabbed her 11-year-old playmate with a butcher knife...in Florida a 7-year-old boy beat his baby sister to death with his fists, feet and a two-by-four, because he was jealous of the attention she got and she wouldn't stop crying...and In England, three girls and two boys, all ages 11 and 12, were arrested on charges of attempted murder after trying to hang a 5-year-old. Well, I say exploit it!

I mean, aren't you sick and tired of sad fat average Joes, and pathetic bachelorettes with their trembling lips and their fake tits? Haven't you had enough of watching the primal baseness and all-consuming greed of adults in pursuit of a million dollars? Well how about the primal baseness of inexplicably, revoltingly violent children? That'll bring in the ratings! Nobody in the 18 to 39 demographic will be able to resist the delicious taboo of kids who kill kids. This'll be like "Cops" meets Electric Company and then goes to juvie.

That is gonna be good TV.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go for it, it's ripe -- many violent kids come from violent parents, so I bet a couple of shots of adults beatings kids may land a few folks in the slammer.

June 03, 2005 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i will never tire of watching desperate bachelorettes -- dem bitches make me realize i'm not so bad off myself.

June 03, 2005 4:27 PM  
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