Tuesday, June 14, 2005

How to Run America

My sister-in-law's mom June, who lives in itsy-bitsy Lagrange, Georgia, in a lovely home with a chocolate lab named Fudge, and a two-car garage sheltering a pick-up truck and a silver Mercedes Benz, always says that there's nothing that won't work itself out if ya throw a little money at it. Not a lot--but enough to just quit the belly-aching and the hassle, pony up some cash, and just make things happen.

Now, I don't know how June votes, and it's none of my business, but she herself says she certainly is a little more socially conservative than the next person--she loves watching Sex in the City, for example, but she could do without the foul language. And, see, no matter how June does vote, she clearly understands what the most influential and politically savvy conservatives in Washington also understand: throw money at it.

The New York Times reports today that the Heritage Foundation, a conservative and powerful Washington think tank, hires 67 interns ever summer, pays them--generously--and houses them. In a dorm with a fitness room. They seek out the prominent young conservatives on campuses all over America and then they invite them to DC, and then they get them for 10-weeks to indoctrinate them. For half a million dollars a year, these conservatives understand they can buy direct access to the minds, morals and future influence of the kids who are gonna run the Hill in a few years.

Any liberal alternatives? Nyet. But you know what? I don't want no dirty conservative dollars. Problem is, plenty of kids in the thousands of campuses across America are probably much smarter than I am, and they sure do. They're smart these people, the conservatives.


Blogger Robin said...

Then again, the NYT also reports today that little boy chimpanzees try to steal mustard from their very own mothers, whereas little girl chimpanzees try to learn how to find mustard for themselves. Draw your own conclusions, people, but I'm thinking there's some monkey business going on here in those conservative intern dorm rooms...

June 14, 2005 11:18 AM  
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