Saturday, June 18, 2005

Dennis and Noorullah's Excellent Adventure

Poor Dennis, looking so afflicted and put-upon, walked out of the courthouse yesterday grasping his lovely wife's hand and probably wondering why--WHY!??!--no one believed him when he said that he didn't steal any money from Tyco, he just made some accounting mistakes. "I was not thinking when I signed my tax return," said Dennis...and, I mean, really who does?

Yesterday, Dennis and his right-hand man were convicted on all but one of the 23 counts of grand larceny, conspiracy, falsifying business records and securities fraud against each of them. But who doesn't make mistakes? I make the mistake of never balancing my checkbook, not really knowing how, and feeling confident that it's all gonna be okay. Probably not unlike Dennis. I shoulda been on that jury, Big D.! I'd have held out for an acquittal! I wouldn't let you go to Attica for a little $430 million malfunction!

But we live in globalized world today, and if a jury of Dennis's jealous and clearly class-afflicted American peers don't see common sense when it's talkin' right at them, then surely someone else in the world will. Like, the Taliban. Turns out that another rather prominent personage came out guilty yesterday, too: Noorullah Zadran, a former envoy for Afghanistan's Taliban leadership pleaded guilty to cheating on his taxes and lying on a bank loan application. Noorullah admits he wrote on a loan application that his wife was working when she was unemployed to get a lower interest rate. But I'm sure it was an honest mistake--in fact, I'm sure that Noorullah was just acknowledging what so many American men don't: that women's work at home is just as real as men's work outside the home. The Taliban are known for their progressive views about women.

So look, Dennis, I'm betting the Taliban might also have progressive views about tax evasion (see Osama), larceny (see Osama), conspiracy (see Osama), and fraud (see Osama). So make a stink! Appeal! Call for a mistrial! And ask to have the case retried in Tora Bora. There's gotta be justice somewhere in the world.


Blogger ninest123 said...

ninest123 16.03
cheap oakley sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, longchamp, louboutin, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, burberry, ugg boots, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, michael kors, prada outlet, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, michael kors outlet, nike outlet, tiffany and co, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin shoes, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet online, ugg boots, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, replica watches, chanel handbags, gucci outlet, nike free, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, nike air max

March 19, 2016 2:14 AM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

kate spade outlet, hogan, coach outlet, michael kors, sac longchamp, nike air max, nike free run uk, ralph lauren pas cher, longchamp pas cher, coach outlet, nike blazer, vans pas cher, nike air max, lululemon, lacoste pas cher, air max, burberry, kate spade handbags, michael kors, mulberry, michael kors, nike free, tn pas cher, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, hollister pas cher, louboutin pas cher, michael kors, abercrombie and fitch, air jordan pas cher, true religion outlet, ray ban uk, sac guess, hollister, oakley pas cher, ralph lauren uk, converse pas cher, replica handbags, north face, air force, true religion jeans, nike roshe, nike roshe run, timberland, new balance pas cher, hermes, vanessa bruno, nike air max, coach purses, ray ban pas cher, north face

March 19, 2016 2:19 AM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

mont blanc, lululemon, p90x workout, iphone 5s cases, instyler, nike huarache, louboutin, mcm handbags, iphone 6 plus cases, soccer jerseys, ralph lauren, ghd, north face outlet, ferragamo shoes, abercrombie and fitch, jimmy choo shoes, herve leger, wedding dresses, valentino shoes, hollister, vans shoes, chi flat iron, iphone 6s cases, nike air max, nfl jerseys, mac cosmetics, iphone 6 cases, iphone cases, nike roshe, hollister, beats by dre, birkin bag, longchamp, insanity workout, reebok shoes, nike air max, hollister, north face outlet, baseball bats, babyliss, celine handbags, new balance, s5 cases, asics running shoes, soccer shoes, bottega veneta, iphone 6s plus cases, ipad cases, oakley, nike trainers, timberland boots, giuseppe zanotti

March 19, 2016 2:24 AM  
Blogger ninest123 said...

hollister, moncler, barbour, coach outlet, pandora charms, moncler, moncler outlet, moncler, ugg boots uk, wedding dresses, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose, moncler, ray ban, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, links of london, louis vuitton, doudoune canada goose, converse, canada goose, pandora charms, swarovski, karen millen, canada goose outlet, replica watches, thomas sabo, pandora jewelry, swarovski crystal, barbour jackets, bottes ugg, pandora jewelry, canada goose, vans, montre pas cher, converse outlet, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, moncler, marc jacobs, gucci, canada goose, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, supra shoes, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, moncler, toms shoes, lancel, ugg pas cher
ninest123 16.03

March 19, 2016 2:27 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

About Us

View our complete profile