Sunday, April 24, 2005

Thin Is the New Fat

Remember when oat bran was supposed to help lower your cholesterol? And then it wasn't? And then, studies said, actually it was--maybe, sort of, they weren't actually sure, and only when consumed with a balanced diet of a gazillion other contradictory health guidelines.

And remember when wine was really bad for your heart? And then red wine was really good for your heart? Oh, but then it was only one glass of red wine--and then that was only for men, actually, because all wine for post-menopausal women, no matter what color or quantity, was pretty much going to send them hurtling toward a speeded-up death?

And rememeber when being fat was bad for you? And being obese was gonna kill you, and obesity was allegedly cutting a flabby swath of death through the 60 percent of Americans who are considered overweight? Well guess what? Nevermind about all that! Fat is good now, or at least better than thin, or rather, a little fatter is less fatal than thinner, and really thin is bad, although really fat might not be great, but it does turn out it might be better--a little?--than too thin.

According to what is considered the most authoritative study about weight and health to date, conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Cancer Institute, the very thin run about the same risk of early death as the very fat. The doctors involved, however, have no idea why. Literally. The study's lead author has gone on the record saying "she is baffled."

And so, while we wait for the next study on the effect of beaujolais and oat bran supplements on semi-obese pre-menopausal men who do less than 2 minutes a week of high-impact aerobic activity, I should probably formalize a few parting wishes: I'd like my gym socks to be evenly distributed among all the very fat people who outlive me; I'd like the three or four dollars in my savings account to be used to purchase some fat-free Reddi-Whip, and I'd like my sad little withered corpse to be sprayed with it. Pass me the Hostess.


Blogger Editor said...

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I have a breast cancer site site. It pretty much covers Cancer related stuff.

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November 01, 2005 4:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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September 01, 2006 12:19 PM  

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